


She's okay - I'm alright. Nothing really matters.

by Childofthesky



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Arguments, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Guns, Linstead, Relationship(s), partners
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 12:56:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5744656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Childofthesky/pseuds/Childofthesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Placed around 2x09 / 2x10. </p><p>After a case where Erin takes a risky decision the partners are faced with anger towards one another.<br/>Neitehr Jay nor Erin are willing to admit they did something wrong.<br/>They talk it out eventually.<br/>And with the talk, true feelings and true intentions are brought up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Your words cut deeper than a knife.

**Author's Note:**

> Soo.. I'm watching WAY too much Chicago pd right now (not really, like I can't get enough UGH)  
> I'm such a sucker for all the ships there, Burzek, Linstead, even Platt and Mouch, I love them all.  
> SHIPPING ALL THE SHIPS!  
> And while I rewatched some episodes I had the idea for this.  
> Enjoy;)
> 
> (Title inspired from the Song 'Nothing really matters' by Mr. Probz.

„Are you out of your mind?“ Jay shouted at Erin while they both stormed into the police stations basement.   
Erin was undoing her vest while Jay followed her. He was really pissed off.

„I had it under control, Jay!“she growled back at him, not facing him and still fidgeting with her vest.   
It just wasn't coming off. He slammed his jacket down on the counter next to her and grabbed her arm hard.

„You could have gotten killed! What were you thinking?!“She looked up at him, anger in her eyes.  
„I wanted to get to the kid, that's what I was thinking!“  
„Never go in without back up, first rule!“he yelled, still not letting go of her arm. She looked down at his hand and yanked her arm away from him.  
„What is your damn problem?“she spat at him, finally getting rid of her vest and looking at him angry.   
Antonio, Ruzek and Atwater came in but all of them stopped when they saw the partners fighting. 

„You could have been killed, the shooter could have killed you both!“  
„Well he didn't“she answered, still fixating him. He glared back at her with a grimace. That was when Voight stomped in, making his way past the other and stopping in front of them, making them both turn his way.  
„Halstead, Lindsay, my office, NOW.“he growled and left them both standing there. They shared one last angry look then followed Voight up the stairs. The others exchanged some looks.

As soon as Erin closed the door behind them in Voights office he slammed his fist on his desk.  
„What the hell were you two doing back then?“he yelled. Their glances met, still angry and both started explaining at the same time.  
„I told her to wait for backup but she wouldn't listen“, Jay started but Erin interrupted him.  
„If I wouldn't have moved in the guy would have killed the kids, I had to do it, there was no time!“ she said.  
„So you rather get killed with them by just storming inside that unsafe house so you could play the hero?“, Jay spat earning a shove and a very angry look from her.  
„Shut up, I did what I had to to save them!“   
Voight stared at them both shouting at each other until he had enough. 

„HEY!“he shouted, silencing them both. They looked at him startled.  
„You both did nothing good, today, it was sheer luck you weren't both killed, let alone those kids. First rule, Lindsay, never go in without backup.“ he said, his voice full of anger.   
Jay scoffed at her. „Told you.“

„Ey, you're not better. Always have your partners back, trust without doubt. You let her go in alone, that's also on you.“Jay shot Erin a look but stayed silent.  
„What I'm saying now is gonna be done without any complaints are we clear?“ Voight said. Both nodded.  
„Lindsay give me your batdge, you're on desk duty for two weeks, no patrol, no rides with the cases, no nothing. Silent desk duty, am I clear?“  
Erin furrowed her eyebrows and hesitated for a second, but then she nodded. „Clear.“ she answered, grabbed her star from her belt and laid it on the table. She crossed her arms.. Voight looked at Jay.

„You, get your ass down to Sergeant Platt, you're on her watch for the rest of the week if I don't tell her otherwise. You do everything she says, even if she makes you get breakfast at 5 AM for everyone am I clear?“   
Jay opened his mouth to protest but Voight raised his finger. „Am I clear, detective Halstead?“   
He hold back, then nodded.   
„Yes sir.“  
„Dismissed“, Voight said and waved them out with his hand. “And close the door behind you.”

 

Erin stormed out of the office, without a look back at her patrtner, threw her jacket at her desk and went for the break room.   
Jay had a grim look on his face as he followed her out of Voights office.   
The others were clearly listening but they all scooted away when the two of them exited. Jay looked after Erin for a second, then he turned and went down the stairs. He stopped in front of Platts desk, his hands in his pockets. 

Platt, who had been talking with another officer turned towards him and looked at him tauntingly.   
“Hello detective Halstead, I just got a call from upstairs, from your sergeant. Care to know what he told me?”  
Jay looked at her, face like a stone.  
“I can imagine.” he answered.  
“Well then Mr. Smart Badge, you know what's up. Get behind this desk and start organising these files. I want them organised by crime type. Alphabetical.” She pointed toward a giant pile of case files. Jay cursed under his breath. Platt held out a hand to her ear.

“Sorry what was that? Did I hear something” He rolled his eyes.  
“No Sergeant.”, he growled and got to work. By the time he was done with the files Platt ordered him to go get lunch for the whole desk officers. Without a complaint he took orders. When he got back Platt advised him to clean up the evidence room in the back, sorting out stuff from certain files and stacking stuff into a box which were up to be destroyed due to prescription. When he came back to the front desk to ask about an item he stopped right in his track. Lindsay standing there. Platt was nowhere to be seen. 

Their eyes met but no one said a word, their gaze holding. They were both really stubborn. And still angry.   
When Platt came back and saw the both of them staring each other down she chuckled darkly.

“Wow, what an atmosphere here. Like on north pole, only some polar bears missing to tear each other apart. What can I do for you detective Lindsay?”   
Erin's looked away from Jay, at Sergeant Platt.   
“Can you please sign this formula, Voight needs it to clarify Burgess and Roman for two weeks to Intelligence.”, she said with a cold voice.  
“Oh sure thing, of course I will.” Platt turned towards Jay to get a pen, which were in front of him.  
“Detective Halstead, is there anything you need? Aren't you a busy bee in the back?”  
Jays eyes were still on Lindsay.  
“Yes, can you please come take a look at some items.”he said, then he turned around and walked back into the evidence room without another word.  
Erin looked after him, then she took the signed paper from Platt and returned upstairs to her desk which was flooding with reports. She had a long rest of the day in front of her.

Erin left the office last and made her way downstairs when she nearly bumped into someone who was just coming up the stairs. It was Jay.   
Their eyes met and she crossed her arm. She saw a strange look in his eyes but it was gone in seconds. She looked at him questioning.

“Looking for something?” she said. He stayed silent for a second, then he nodded.  
“Voight.”   
“He went home an hour ago.”  
He cursed.   
“Fine.”  
“Yeah.”  
They lingered for a moment, then Erin rolled her eyes and pushed her way past him down the stairs. He turned around and called after her.  
“Erin.”   
She stopped without looking at him.  
“What.”  
It was silent.  
“Jay, what is it?”, she said angrily and turned towards him. There was this strange emotion in his eyes again. She looked at him with her eyebrows arched.  
“Nothing.”   
She waved with her hand.  
“Okay, whatever then.” With these final words she walked down the stairs, through the gate and left the station.


	2. I've had about enough, left me in pieces.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay makes a decision and is able to tell Erin the truth.  
> He finally comes clear and she understands.

The doorbell rang as Erin was about to put pasta in boiling water.   
After that dangerous situation at the case house today and then Voights lecture and her punishment with desk duty she was in no mood to have any company. She ignored the ringing and kept her attention to the water but when it ring again and again and then again she cursed, shut down the stove and went for the door.   
„Yes, who is it?”, she asked, her voice clearly annoyed.  
„It's me, Lindsay, open up already.” said Jay through the intercom. Erin rolled her eyes.

„Halstead what do you want? Haven't you annoyed me enough today? Leave me alone.” she said. She heard a muffled curse.  
„For gods sake Erin let me in.” he answered.   
She hesitated for a second, then she pressed the button to open the front door, opened her apartment door and leaned on the frame. She heard him come up the stairs and looked at him with one eyebrows arched.

„What do you want Jay?“, she said, her voice still annoyed. Jay looked at her and held up a six pack of beer.  
„I'm here to apologise okay?” he said. She just looked at him, still leaning in the door frame, not moving an inch. He looked back at her with equal force in is eyes.  
„Can I come in?“, he finally said.

Instead of answering Erin opened the door a little wider and moved aside. Jay followed her inside, closed the door, put the sixpack down and got rid of his jacket and shoes. Erin walked back into her kitchen, turning the stove back on.   
Jay picked up the beer then followed her slowly. She was with her back towards him, so he sat down at her counter and watched her. When she didn't turn or said anything for another few minutes he coughed slightly. She still didn't turn around. He sighed.

„Erin look, I'm sorry for today, okay? I didn't mean to jump at you that hard.” She slowly turned around, arms crossed over her chest and looked at him with a stern look.   
„I was a jerk for yelling at you. Sorry.” He continued.  
„Yeah you were a straight ass.”, she said finally. He opened his mouth to protest but shut it when he saw the twitch of her mouth, her eyes full of anger. She stayed silent for a moment, and when he was about to say something she shook her head.

„I know I shouldn't have gone in alone, I'm not dumb.” He just looked at her.  
„But, these kids, I mean, I had to do something. He would have killed them all, without a thought. I couldn't just let that happen.”  
He nodded but kept silent, eyes fixated on her.  
„I know it was luck he didn't shoot straight away but it was on instinct. I only thought of the kids. I'm sorry, I should have heard to what you said. First rule, right..” her voice broke a little and she turned her look away from him, towards the floor. He swallowed before he answered.

„You saved them, even though at a risk. They would have been dead. I was just.. worried.” Her eyes locked with his again.  
„I was really scared for you Erin. That guy had already killed twelve people, he wouldn't have hesitated to kill others. To kill you...” he said and she nodded.   
His eyes searched the room like he was struggling with the words to come out.   
When he looked at her again he could see was teary-eyed. He got up from his seat and crossed the distance towards her.   
She bit her lip to hold back the tears.

„Hey, it's okay.“, he said quietly and grabbed her hand. She looked at him.  
„They reminded me of Teddy. I just.. I moved without thinking.“  
„I know.“  
„I was just scared that he would.. I just couldn't let that happen.“  
„Yeah, I know. You did the right thing. I'm sorry.“  
She nodded and wiped at her tears. All anger gone by now she looked back up at him again and saw the concern in his eyes.  
„Just, don't go in without me next time, okay? I've got your back, remember? Trust without doubt.“  
She nodded again and gave him a little smile. 

She suddenly jumped when she felt something hot from behind her, stumbled into him and turned towards the stove. The water was over boiling, pasta and water streaming everywhere.  
„Shit!“, she cursed, reaching for the switch. She hissed when the hot water touched her and retrieved her hand. Jay grabbed a towel and reached for the pot and the switch.  
„Here let me..” he said and shoved her aside to help. They both looked down at the cooking disaster, then at each other and burst out laughing.  
„Oh man, what an end to a day.“, she said, putting her face in her hands. Jay chuckled and put the wet towel aside.  
„You in for Pizza?“, he said and she nodded. „Definitely!“, she answered.

They both had settled on her couch with the beer when the pizza arrived. Jay signed her to stay as he went for the door.  
„My treat. You deserve it.“, he said and winked at her.   
She smiled at him thankfully and focused back on the TV. When he got back with the boxes he handed her one and dropped back down next to her.

„Thanks.“, she said and smiled at him.  
„No problem. And look, I'm sorry that Voight has you on desk duty. I really didn't mean that to happen.“ He offered her an apologetically smile.  
„It's okay. You were both right. I can handle it.” Then she sheepishly grinned at him.   
„So, how's Platt doing? Is she making you run around on her command?”  
Jay gave her a pained look.  
„You have no idea. She's like.. a drill officer. Seriously. She could easily command an army of soldiers around, they would obey without any resistance.” Erins eyebrows shot up and she chuckled.  
„Yeah? Are you making coffee for her?“  
„Yes. But not only for her, everyone that was on duty down there. I felt like a lunch lady!“  
„Suits you. Do you get to wear an apron too?“, she joked and punched him lightly in the shoulder. He scoffed.  
„Watch your mouth Lindsay.“ he said but grinned down at her.

They continued to watch the movie while eating and soon, both of them got tired and at the end of the movie they were both asleep, leaning on each other, curled up on the couch.

\----------

>>Drop the gun! Drop it NOW!> The House is surrounded, you can't go anywhere. Now, drop the gun and let her go. NOW> Stop, or I'll shoot her!> Let her go. > Okay 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? If you liked this, let me know!  
> Maybe I'll write more... :P  
> xx

**Author's Note:**

> Well? How was this?  
> If you liked that I would love to hear it!  
> Depending on the feedback I may write more to this one...  
> I already have ideas for two more stories.  
> Keep shipping all your ships!  
> xx  
> (find me on tumblr to fangirl with me: everydayisonfire.tumblr.com)


End file.
